


Masks

by Auchen



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2342009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auchen/pseuds/Auchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Victorian fantasy AU) Loki and Jane are married, but are slowly drifting apart, unable to know how to get back to each other in a world of false propriety.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Masks

**Author's Note:**

> I took startraveller776's challenge to write a Lokane fic based on the prompt, “How do you stop loving someone when they stop loving you?” (The prompt was originally posted by lokaneismysecretpleasure on tumblr.)

They hardly love each other at the same time anymore. The worst part of it all, Jane thinks, is that they were so happy when they first married. Now over the past few months she has been forced to spend countless dinner parties and house parties held at well known magician’s houses making excuses for her husband’s absence.

Forgettable women corner her in dimly lit sitting rooms, touching her hands with silk gloves accompanied by a sympathetic frown. “Such a shame that your husband isn’t here,” they always say.

"He’s traveling, selling some of his charms on the continent," she always tells those who ask. It’s become such a familiar cadence, it almost tastes like the truth. After all, she learned to lie from the best.

But every night when she returns home in the dark hours and pushes open the front door, she is met with emptiness. Loki’s slim form does not stand there, waiting to greet her with a sly word and a laugh.

On nights like these, she’s either met with a vague note excusing his absence yet again, or as she creeps upstairs she’s greeted by a slant of light pouring beneath his private study, the sharp scent of magic experiments in the air.

Either way, she crawls into a cold bed, the side next to her empty, the mattress hardly dented anymore.

—

They wear masks in public so often, they hardly know how to act around each other anymore. She follows his suit and throws herself into studies of the cosmos, trying to riddle out a way to open portals to other worlds.

—

Once, Loki makes the snap decision of attending a dinner party with her.

She’s almost delighted, and she becomes hopeful when she sees the hint of a smile on his face when he catches sight of her in a new dress after she emerges from her room.

But the night only gets worse from there. She can tell how brittle and false his smile is, how limp his hand is on her arm. But they give forced laughs to each other’s jokes, and insert compliments into polite conversations.

When the night is over, his mask drops, and ice freezes over his gaze.

"Let’s go home. I suppose that your books are lonely without you poring over them," he says, not glancing at her.

Heat rushes to Jane’s face. “I was not the one who began to withdraw. I was not the one who began to miss one dinner party, then another, making me act like your absence was for a good reason.”

Loki snorts. “Why do you think that began? I can’t stand these things. It sickens me to pour compliments upon these simpletons, and to see you thrive in this environment. I think you almost enjoy it.”

"If you think that, then you don’t know me very well."

He is silent for a moment, the harshness in his face flickers for a moment. “Perhaps I don’t.”

They ride home in the carriage in silence.

—

The months continue on with false smiles at card games and at polite meetings. Loki and Jane continue to only see quick glimpses of each other. They’re drifting apart like continents that no longer know how to fit together, who have become something completely different in each other’s absence.

—

One night, Loki announces with a scowl that they will be attending a dinner party with his family. The pit of Jane’s stomach chills at the idea. Loki has never had an easy relationship with his family, and they’re walking on thin ice as it is.

But they go anyway, and Jane finds herself enjoying the company of his family immensely (aside from Odin, who continues to look at her as if she were little more than filth).

Thor tells ridiculous stories about his travels, and Frigga is as kind as ever. When they leave, they nod to each other, and Thor smiles at her.

"I am glad that we were able to see each other, Jane. Loki has kept himself and you from us for quite sometime."

She returns the smile to her former suitor. “I was glad to see you as well. I hope that we could perhaps do this again sometime.”

Loki says nothing, but his brows are drawn into a dark line as he gives a stiff nod to his brother before they leave.

Jane can feel the storm that is brewing inside of Loki as they walk out to the carriage. It hangs thick and heavy over them as they enter, and the torrent only begins once they are off towards their home.

"Well, you certainly seemed to enjoy Thor’s company tonight," he says, voice taught. Jane can hear the anger boiling beneath it.

"Yes, but I also enjoyed Frigga’s company," Jane says. "…And yours," she adds, because it’s almost the truth.

He gives a harsh laugh. “Don’t placate me. I know that you wish you were sitting at his side, returning home with him instead of me.”

Jane’s mouth drops open. “After all this time, you still think I wish I chose Thor? I have stood with you, even when you act as if you can’t bear to be in the same room with me.”

"Don’t lie to me," he spits out between his teeth. "You only have stayed with me out of obligation."

She narrows her eyes. “I’m not lying to you, and you know that. I have stayed with you, because I know that we loved each other once. And we could again.”

"Once," he says, voice quieter. "Some good things happen once, and they usually do not last."

She closes her eyes. “You’re so afraid of good things staying, that you destroy them.”

The carriage rattles them home, where they quietly walk to their separate rooms.

—

This time, it’s Jane’s turn to leave. A week after the disastrous ride home, Loki awakens to find a note on his nightstand. In Jane’s messy handwriting it says:

_Loki,_

_Perhaps some time away from this place will clear my mind. I’ve made arrangements to stay with my school friend Darcy Lewis in the country. I don’t know when I’ll return. Do not feel obligated to write me back. I wish you all the best, whatever comes to pass._

_Sincerely, Jane_


End file.
